Matt Averi's Deep and not so Deep Thoughts.........
Thoughts on the movie, "Falling Down"
This evening on TNT, the movie Falling Down with Michael Douglas was on. I have seen this movie before several years ago, however, today it really took on a new meaning. All this weekend I have been sick and confined to my house, shifting between the bed, computer, and the TV. I saw the movie advertised and actually planned to watch it, why I don't really know. In case you missed ever seeing the movie, the gist of it is about a man who is having an extremely bad day with gang bangers, grocery store clerks, fast food restaurants, and pay phones.
I guess I should start by saying, "Haven't we all felt this way at one time or another?" Hell, just driving to work everyday on I-40 causes me at least two to three episodes of road rage! I don't, however, pull out my Ruger and blow people's heads off! I will also ask the question, "Do you think you could ever see yourself losing control and 'falling down' the way it was depicted in the movie?" I often wonder how much stress it would take to transform an everyday person into a monster.
Think about all the events in one's lifetime that may lead to this type of behavior like getting fired, a spouse screwing around on you, losing a loved one to a drunk driver, or being diagnosed with a terminal disease. These events happen everyday to people just like you and me, but somehow we seem to deal with it in a more civilized manner. Why? For some it is religion, family, or fear of the law, both of the state and of God. It makes me wonder what will happen when people lose these fears, but even worse, when people lose hope. I strongly believe that hope is what keeps the majority of human beings from acting on their impulses to get even with people who wrong them. They hope that the law will do its job, they hope that every dog has his day, and they hope that nice guys don't finish last.
At any rate, I just thought I would babble on for a minute or two about this very interesting movie and thought that it provoked. If you haven't seen it, go rent it because it's definitely worth the three bucks! back to the top
Thoughts on Flying.....
Seeing how much I fly, I have a ton of time to contemplate dying on an airplane and flying in general. These "Deep and not so Deep Thoughts" are directed towards how I deal with this fun subject.
First of all, anyone who knows me could identify me by the answer to the question, "What would you do if you knew your plane was going down"? I answer this mostly in jest, but I guess I can never count it out. It goes something like, " I would fasten my seatbelt tight, slam the ice cold Jim Beam and Ginger I was drinking, throw my arms up in the air, let out a big 'OH YEAH', and pretend I was on the Steel Phantom roller coaster at Kennywood Park in Pittsburgh"! Seriously though, what else should you do when you know your life is going to end in 60 seconds or less? Lets explore this further for a moment.
If we are over water, maybe we should rip our seat apart and use the bottom half as a floatation device. NO REALLY, we have a great chance of surviving an impact that pits 40 tons of steel, glass, plastic, and flesh traveling at 700 MPH against an ocean that is as hard as concrete. Come on dude, who do these flight attendants think they're kidding here? Or better yet, I love the oxygen mask theory. Check it out, while cabin pressure is depleted due to an exit door opening the loud speaker tells you to place the mask over your head and breath in deeply. If we lose cabin pressure at 37,000 feet because an exit door opened, we will all be sucked right out of the plane sooner or later. If I place the mask over my head, I will be even more cognizant of the fact that I am being sucked out of an airplane moving 700 MPH, 37,000 feet off the ground. Not something that I want to have an extremely vivid memory of!
Anyway, all things considered I do believe that flying is much safer than commuting from Raleigh to Research Triangle Park for work. I do play a little game with myself while flying though, it's better some times more than others. If I fly and am not doing work, I will do nothing but think about the plane going into mechanical problems and crashing. (Yes this is a game to me) Doing this makes me even more grateful when the plane lands safely. I think to myself what I would do, how I would spend my last few seconds in this life, and what I would leave behind. It really puts a different spin on flying and you should try it sometime! By the way, if you hear that I did perish in a plane crash, keep the image of me on a roller coaster as your final one! back to top
Thoughts on Being Grateful.....
I guess this Deep Thought really is deep and has some meaning to it. I have just spent the whole day realizing how much I have to be grateful for, and how we should all take a step back once in a while and smell the proverbial rose.
Whether or not it had anything to do with Memorial Day, today I was hit by this overwhelming feeling of guilt. Every now and then, I think how great it would be to wake up a billionaire, sports star, or the President. Why? I don't know, but it does cross my mind from time to time. I figured out today that we mostly envy these people when we fail to realize what we have, and what so many people in the world don't have. Things like a good job, friends and family who care about you, a nice place to live, our health, and everything else that we sometimes take for granted. I admit that it is so easy to look past non-tangible things like our health, friends, and where we were born, but we really have to in order keep ourselves in check.
When I did take a step back today, I realized just how fortunate I am to be me and not someone else. Doing this really empowered me in that I could throw away all the material things that I have, and because of these "intangible" blessings, I would be able to go out and get them again. I am most grateful for my health, mind, family, and spirit because all the money in the world can not create or replace them. Any one of us could have been born a person without one or all of these things, and ended up a person with no hope and no spirit. That is why I felt guilty today, because I am so fortunate with what I have and I should never take it for granted.
At any rate, I just thought I would share this thought with you today and remind you of just how lucky we are! p.s. this reminds me of something I heard once, "Everyday is a gift, not a guarantee" back to top
Thoughts on Growing Up
It is utterly amazing to me when I think that turning eighteen was eleven years ago, but it was. Not to be a cynical bastard, but many of the things that bring that timeline to my brain are not typical; not typical at all. I remember feeling somewhat on the outside of the reality vacuum. Don't worry, I will explain.
As many of you know who are reading this, my family did not have a ton of money and I did not wear Nike tennis shoes, however, I had many advantages that everyone else did not. (1) I had the advantage of a Father who did not praise, but degrade. (2) I had the advantage of teachers who hoped for the extraordinary, but believed in the norm. (3) I had the advantage of stability, but existed in the eye of the storm. (4) I had the advantage of a Mother who never distributed punishment or blame, but was the recipient just the same. All of these things co-starred in the Matt Averi motion picture that will never win an Oscar, but will be in syndication forever. Read on.............. please.
As to (1) My Father, who chose to be a degrading type of motivator, gave me the drive and ambition to never settle for second best. I was a failure, a loser, a shame to my Father. I did not get straight A's, a 4.0, or my picture in the Who's Who listing of America, therefore, I was a failure in my Father's eyes, or at least that's what he wanted me to believe. My Father did not believe this about me, or anyone else in my family, however, this was his way of motivating my family to forge a path to success. It was not until recently that this became clear to me, which in turn ended a five year stretch of living to work instead of working to live.
As to (2) This is one of my personal favorites, because most of the teachers I had in High School cannot reverse their judgments of me, but only revise them. They justify their revision by saying, "I always knew that Matt would turn out alright, he was such a good kid". What a joke! These teachers bet their hand in the favor of money, history, and normalcy instead of character, drive, and promise. I will always remember the looks on many of their faces when I told them I was enlisting in the Marine Corps, while my fellow classmates where enrolling in Penn State, Pitt, and Cornell. "Guess he didn't get accepted into college or any smart Armed Service, so he went where most morons go, the Marines." If only my teachers could have been so lucky to serve in the Marine Corps, they would have known the values of Honor, Loyalty, Pride, Confidence, and Courage, none of which I learned at Penn State. Not to piss anyone off, but where are all the fine young men and women that did go to college right after high school? That was rhetorical by the way........................
As to (3) Three takes some explaining to understand, so here goes. I always felt like I was in the land of confusion and abnormality, but in fact I had one of the most stable environments around. This point, though, you don't realize until after the fact...........way after the fact. I thought because I was not allowed to do some of the things my friends could, that I was the odd one out. I have only recently come to realize that I had parents who were looking out for me, instead of looking to me. They did not assume that I would take the right path, and it's a very good thing that they didn't. A lot of parents will allow their children to make their own decisions, believing that is the best way for them to learn and grow. The problem is that many children didn't make the right decision that were parented by proxy. I may have thought at the time that I was in the hurricane, but I now know that I was raised in the calm before the storm.
As to (4) My Mother, I thank God every day that she is my Mother. I have told this to many people before, but I will say it again; "I couldn't have asked for a better Mom". My Mom may not understand what exactly it is that I do or just how far I have come, but it doesn't matter to her, or me. She loves me unconditionally, garbage man or President of the United States. For thirty-four years she was dealt the same deck of cards by my Father that we were, but she never let it affect her feeling for her children. To this day, I can tell my Mom anything without weighing the consequences of my actions. That kind of compassion and understanding is something that many of us do not have, but very much desire.
I hope this made sense to most of you who have read it, because you will see it again someday, somewhere.
Well it has been a while, but I guess now is a better time than ever to give the "Deep Thought" for 2002! Being free has meant being free from corporate America, in a sense. I really do consider myself "free", now that I don't work for someone else. I really can't explain how it feels right now to just be, and work, for me, but I guess I'll give it a try.
I'm totally letting loose now, so bear with me! My bro and I were getting very depressed watching all of our friends get laid off, and thought to ourselves, "Self, they will get rid of you two as well believe me". Believing in the great golden rule, "Do unto others before they do unto you", we promptly took action. So here we are. Less travel, Less BS, Less Accountability, and yes, Less Pay............... for now!!! We're working this company like there was no tomorrow, but it is much more fun than work. I mean come on, who else gets to give themselves great titles, pay themselves whatever they want, and take vacation at a moments notice? We do!
No seriously, we're happy to be in the place where we can start a company of our own. That, is where the deep thought is. Being grateful for being free enough to start and maintain a company of our own. Too many people state every disadvantage they have as a way out of being successful. I could easily sit here and talk about people I knew who had college paid for them, a brand new car waiting for them, and a high level job waiting for them "when they grew up". Matter of fact for a while, I did talk about those people and really did start using them as a crutch......... wrong answer! I quickly found out that we as individuals have control over what, and whom we become, it is just a matter of what we are willing to do to achieve that goal. We all know of countless people overcoming odds that were impossible, but succeeding in spite of them. That is where I get my inspiration from.
Well, I don't even know where to start, but I'll try and do my best. First of all, let the record show that I fully support the President, his administration, and all members of the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines in Operation Iraqi Freedom. I also am grateful to the British and Australians, who had the balls and integrity to step up to the plate with not only full moral support, but also with troops.
Iraq has not only ignored the United States and the United Nations for the last twelve years, its leader has tortured, raped, and murdered thousands upon thousands of human beings. This is what this man has done to his own people, yet some question whether or not he would use Weapons of Mass Destruction on the United States and its allies? Please, these people cannot be that stupid. Lie after lie has come out of the Iraqi Regime, chemical weapons used on Iraqi citizens, and we still have to question if Iraq has WMD and would use them? I am honestly sick and tired of people who refuse to exist in the real world, which has real problems and real murderers.
These people who call the President, the government, and the Pentagon terrorists are most disturbing to me. These people who have the freedom to protest, practice any religion, and leave this country at any time can thank brave men who lived 227 years ago for these rights. These rights were obtained by people who believed that everyone has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness no matter what the cost. These brave Americans were willing to die to give others these rights, the same as our brave leaders and military are doing today. These protestors should leave our country and move to Iraq, because it was WAR that created the United States and war to protect and create life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is Wrong. Isn't it? These people are ignorant hypocrites who enjoy the fruits of suffering and sacrifice while protesting the people who endured it.
After 9/11, we know how one event can change the course of history, as well as how we as Americans live our lives in the United States. The horror of that day was just a fraction of what could happen if WMD fall into the hands of someone who hates our way of life. The Iraqi leaders today, hate our way of life and want to destroy innocent civilians just as it did in its own country. The United States is giving the Iraqi people the gift that our ancestors were given on July 4th, 1776. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Anyway, thanks for visiting my page and reading all this bullshit that I have to put out. They are just my "deep thoughts" and nothing more, so please feel free to disagree by visiting my contact page! back to top